I Can't Keep Embarrassing Secrets

Secrets, secrets are no fun.
Secrets, secrets hurt someone.

This statement is false. Secrets are the most fun, especially when they're shared across the Internet.

It's not so secret that I love Jurassic Park and dinosaurs in general, and that I think about them often. But let's discuss my obsession further, shall we?

I was in second grade when Jurassic Park came out. I wasn't allowed to see it when it was first released because it was rated PG-13 and I was only eight. Not that I wanted to see it anyway, only nerdy boys like William Orton saw it and loved it. Girls did not see silly movies about dinosaurs. Some time later my family went to a drive in double feature movie, where Jurassic Park was being shown as a bonus. My mom made me cover my eyes when the lawyer gets eaten off the toilet, but I had my fingers open so I saw everything.

Years later The Lost World came out, but I did not see it. After it came out on video my dad and I bought it at Costco while my mom was out of town and watched it while we ate an entire bag of Cheetos. I threw up that night, but I could not throw up the movie in my mind. This is when the nightmares began.

For years I had recurring nightmares about dinosaurs chasing me through my old elementary school. I'd wake up in a panic, convinced there were raptors outside my bedroom window. This continued until I made up an imaginary raptor that I had. My raptor did not have a name, but she was the most ferocious raptor that ever lived. I imagined she slept on the floor in my room and could easily defend me against any threat I might encounter. I slept very well after my raptor was born...in my mind.

My obsession with dinosaurs died down in high school and college until I stumbled across this building:


Doesn't it just look like a building that would be in Jurassic Park? It's a grounds or maintenance building that's along the stairs to campus coming from 8th north. The first time I saw it I thought "I bet you could totally hide in there if the velociraptors were coming. But then they'd probably get through that big vent anyway." Then I started noticing all kinds of places you could hide in a dinosaur attack. It's one of the first things I notice when I enter a building. A building must be evaluated for both a T-Rex attack and a velociraptor attack, because different things would be required for each. In case you were wondering, Operations would be the best and safest place to hide in any kind of dinosaur attack on BYU campus. It's comforting for me to know I'm not the only one who does this.

Sometimes when I'm driving on the freeway I pretend there are dinosaurs chasing me. It always makes me feel really scared even though I know I'm just imagining it. When I exercise I try to imagine dinosaurs are chasing me to make me work harder, but my brain just tells me that I'm imagining it. Even my brain doesn't really want me to exercise.

The physical plant on BYU campus often makes a machine sound that sounds just the sound in The Lost World where the T-Rex is trapped on the boat in the cargo area. The hand is trying to close the door but the Rex is pushing against it, causing mechanical sound to repeat over and over. I often hear this sound in the mornings when I'm walking into work late and it makes me hurry just a little bit faster. Lately though, I haven't been hearing it. Yesterday I was sick and was unable to come to work, and on my way in this morning I heard the sound that I've been missing for several days. It seemed to be saying: "Welcome back to work Kaitlin, the T-Rex is coming for you."